In my last post, I encouraged pastor’s wives to figure out their role. (click to read post) One of the biggest life-long ministries you will have is to support your husband. Pastors need lots of support. Often, because of their position, most people think they have it all together and do not need a thing. As his wife, you will know differently. For pastors, life-giving relationships are something they need and don’t take for granted. Below are some suggestions on how you can cultivate a life-giving relationship with your husband.
- Pray for him daily. Pray for protection from the evil one, pray for wisdom, pray for health and strength.
- Meet his physical/practical needs – feed him, take good care of him (including physical intimacy).
- Release him to do the things that fill him up once in a while – fishing, hunting, running, woodworking, etc… I know that there are many demands on a pastor’s family, and it is hard to have him take time away from your family, but this will help restore and replenish him which will be worth the time away.
- Be his biggest cheerleader. Often we think that pastors don’t need words of encouragement, but they do! Be appreciative of all he does to lead your family and your church. Husbands need their wives admiration/respect. Share specific ways you are proud of him.
- Tenderly share constructive criticism. It’s OK as his wife, to say the hard things and if you are known as being a cheerleader, then he will accept the hard things you have to say. He may not like to hear them (who does??) but deep down he will appreciate it.
- Talk to God the most, rather than your husband, about his weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, and some won’t be completely gone until we get to heaven. Our weaknesses are what keep us humbly reliant upon Jesus.
- Bring him good not harm all the days of your life. Proverbs 31:10-12 is high calling: “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
I know the above suggestions can seem overwhelming. But, with some effort on your part and the Holy Spirit’s empowerment, you can become a wife your husband has full confidence in. God did not make a mistake when he had you marry a pastor. You can do it! He believes the best in you and for you and so do I!
Your Friend in Ministry,