Tag Archives: kindness

How to Keep Your Marriage Blossoming

As mentioned in my previous post, this past weekend was one of the best Easter weekends I can remember.  Part of what made it special was an answer to a prayer that I have been praying for many years.  I have a very dear friend who attended our church while she was a college student.  She led worship at our church and was a leader in the youth group as well.  Through the years we became close friends.  I have been praying for the Lord to send her a Godly husband for about eight years now.  She moved back to her home town two years ago and finally met Mr. Right.

A picture of me and my husband and the happy couple:

Friends

She and Mr. Right came for a visit this weekend and we were able to give her a bridal shower, which I was grateful to be part of planning and organizing.  It was a lovely shower with yummy food and beautiful decorations, mostly fresh flowers.  Based on the flower theme, I was given the special honor of sharing some words of wisdom with the bride-to-be.  What follows is a rendition of what I shared, which is a good reminder for all of us, no matter how long we have been married.

To keep your marriage blossoming, do two things:  #1) water it and #2) remove the weeds.

#1)  Water it by:

  • The first way you water a marriage is by remembering that God sent you your husband as a blessing.  Remember the special feelings you are feeling right now.  You are feeling grateful to the Lord for sending you your husband.  You are feeling blessed and full of hope for the future.  Remember these feelings, they will keep your marriage blossoming as the years go by.
  • Another way to water a marriage is through prayer.  Many women pray for a husband before he comes their way.  Prayer, then, becomes a significant part of your relationship before you even have a relationship.  Prayer is what planted the seed of a future relationship and prayer continues to water the seed that causes a marriage to grow and blossom.  Don’t neglect praying for your husband, now that you got him, keep praying for him.  Pray for wisdom & strength for him as the leader of your family, pray for your attitude towards him,  pray that the Lord will protect your relationship, pray that you can be a good example of Christ & the church to those who see you.  Pray Bible verses over your relationship.  A great one to start with is Ephesians 4:32, Amplified  And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.  If you make prayer a priority in your relationship – praying for each other and praying with each other – it will grow.
  • There are many ways to water a marriage.  Three important ways are to water it by remembering the beginning feelings of love, water it with prayer and finally, water it with kindness.  Being kind means you are friendly, generous and considerate.  Kindness is expressed not only in what we say, but more importantly, in how we say it.  You can water your relationship with kindness by becoming a good friend to your husband.  Actively listen to him when he talks about things that are important to him, do things with him that he likes to do or at least watch him do them.  Be generous with your husband.  Make sure he doesn’t always get the leftovers of your time, attention or efforts.  Be considerate of him and his feelings.  It can take very little to keep a husband happy – show him he is needed, wanted and liked by you.  Make sure you tell him you love him.  Make sure you show him you like him.

To keep your marriage blossoming, #1) water it and

#2) Remove the weeds.  Weeds can crop up in every relationship.  Weeds are detrimental because they suck the nutrients away from that which you are trying to nurture and grow.  There will be many weeds that will try to rear their ugly head throughout the years – pride, disappointment, fear.  But I want to warn you of one common and dangerous weed called “comparison”.  Scripture tells us that comparison is unwise.  Yet it is human nature to compare.  You see how a friend’s husband treats her & you compare that with how your husband treats you.  You see the type of marriage others have and you compare that to you & your husband’s.  Comparing your husband to someone else’s is like comparing apples & oranges – you can’t compare them because they’re not the same.  As soon as you see a weed of comparison trying to rear its ugly head rip it up before it takes root.

For that matter, anytime you see a weed of any sort crop up, yank it out as soon as possible.  When you look at a garden and see a bunch of weeds – what you are really seeing is neglect.  Don’t neglect your marriage through the years.  Tend to your garden.  Tending a garden requires a lot of work, but the beauty, fragrance and fruit that is produced is well worth the effort.

To keep your marriage blossoming, water it and remove the weeds.  Thankfully, you have the full resources of the Master Gardener, Jesus Himself.  He chose you and your husband for each other and he desires for your marriage to bear fruit for His kingdom.  As you look to Jesus, he will be your hope, comfort, strength and peace and will allow your marriage to bloom and blossom throughout the years.

Are you tending your garden?

Your Friend in Ministry,

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